O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey’d monster, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on. –Bill Shakespeare–
And this vile monster sometimes leads the characters in question to a crime of passion. I remember that this green-eyed monster led the painter Juan Luna to murder his wife in cold blood, the hapless Paz Pardo de Tavera, in 1892 inside their Paris home.
As for me, I am not a good-looking man-about-town or a philanderer like Gregorio del Pilar. I am not a hunk. I do not have the countenance of a matinee idol. Nor do I have the corporal attributes worth swooning for. My fidelity may have faltered a few times in the past, thus perhaps an excuse for that green-eyed monster to seize control over mine heartmate’s feeble cerebral cortex. But my repeated apothegm for that: that was done with, a previous chapter of a past which, to my enervated mind, is not worth revisiting anymore.
But I am fed up with it. Many times she’s gone overboard with her nonsensical jealousy. Little did she know that I have no other desire but to stay put inside our humble abode, scribbling serious stuff like a crazed-old hermit, and even traversing new frontiers with her and our handsome offspring. Utopic yet humble nonetheless. And that is what my heart has been yearning for all these years.
Now because she has allowed that idiotic monster to lurk inside the crevices of her unknowing cranium, I would have to opt to shut my mouth most of the time like an anti-social which was my drab disposition during my college years. The state of affairs between us is seriously getting ill, adding up to other mental exigencies that I am invariably struggling to contain. I’m liking it less and less. So it has to be checked. Once and for all, if possible. Lest I end up like Luna’s wife in a pool of my own blood.