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SEO is the key!

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When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it. —Paulo Coelho—

World Wrestling Entertainment Hall of Famer Bret “The Hitman” Hart‘s saga is truly an admirable case. Years after the Montreal Screwjob courtesy of WWE owner Vince McMahon, he’s now back in ring action much to the delight of pro-wrestling fans. And he has buried the hatchet, too, with his on-screen and real-life rival, “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels. Bret has learned to forgive and forget. And Vince, his ex-tormentor, has been so remorseful for the evil that he did to “The Excellence of Execution”; Mr. McMahon is now giving back to Bret all the honor and opportunities that “The Pink and Black Attack” rightfully deserve — a spot in the Hall of Fame (for both Bret and, quite recently, for his legendary dad, Stu Hart of The Dungeon fame), a fifth United States Championship, prime matches in pay-per-view and house events, etc.

All’s well that ends well for both wrestling icons.

I mention The Hitman here because like him, I was also screwed out of my job. Just last month. That incident I now call the Alabang Screwjob, LOL! Also, there is a striking similarity between these two screwjobs that had happened to both me and Bret: The Excellence of Execution was excellently screwed in a French-speaking city; me? I was screwed by the Frenchies themselves. Bret was able to forgive and forget. I can turn the other cheek, too. But I will never forget. Ever.

Now, looking back to the complete history of my being a wage slave is not something to be proud of. Whether or not I have made accomplishments in the various trades that I have worked for is not really the point. Besides, I have never made any major impact nor effort in building my “career” because my heart is reserved for another passion (followers of this blog and ALAS FILIPINAS know exactly what I’m talking about). But I did make a lot of friends, and I was able to support my family without bugging my folks. Those two reasons alone make just compensation for compelling myself to work for multinational whorehouses.

Several months ago, I wrote about my plans of escaping this sick, profit-driven society without jeopardizing my financial responsibilities to my wife and four kids. But I failed in that department. So now I’m back to square one. And if I fail again, I will not give up. Because I am really fed up of being a wage slave for the rest of my life. Other than that, I believe that I am not really cut for vocation. Just take a look at these instances:

1) In my very first job, I somehow learned how to dodge punches and coins. I learned a few Karate chops myself, kicking my way out from being beaten up by crazed motorists.
2) In my second job, I turned our company kitchen in Forbes Park into one whole swimming pool, much to the irritation of some of my colleagues (e, sa hindí acó marunong maghugas ng mga plato, eh).
3) Next, I came face to face with the devil himself.
4) In my fourth, I came to realize that a “teacher’s pet” exists not only in school but also in the workplace.
5) The fifth company I worked for was filled with so many cretins that it literally bloodied my lungs.
6) My sixth should have been paradise, until I saw that empire itself crumble just like ancient Rome. I thought it best to leave. But it turned out to be one of the worst decisions I have ever made because….
7) Finally, with my recent employer, I learned that the French pronunciation of the English word “justice” is actually “just us”.

By reminiscing on my hilarious work experiences, I have to reiterate that I am not cut for fuck!n’ vocation. And my recent bosses helped me realize that not-so-sad fact in a forceful and devious manner. If I cannot serve kingdoms, why not be the tyrant myself? LOL! But seriously, I am really done with modern slavery. I now refuse to make myself a firewood for corporate chimneys. Waking up to the sound of the alarm is perhaps the most cruel thing a sane person could to oneself. I do not want to grow old and then look back into my youth with disappointment and say “whatever happened to all those precious days? I have wasted all my Mondays-thru-Fridays on nothing!” Whatever talents that I have is rendered useless inside the unforgiving cubicle farms. I won’t have anything of it anymore.

To quote EDSA 86′s rallying cry: NEVER AGAIN!

I prayed to God fervently for help. Ironically, the good Lord provided the help that I needed in the person of the “god of Pinoy atheism” himself — JB Lazarte (indeed, God works in mysterious ways)! Shortly afterwards, The Magnus taught me the whole nine yards of how to comfortably and enjoyably burn my butt right inside my home forevermore.

Heck, I realized that it’s been right under my nose all these blogging years! And the key to this magic is SEO!

Then a few weeks later, adding up to my excitement and zeal, my ever-supportive wife bought me David “The SEO Expert” Viney’s tips on how to conquer Planet Google!

The startup will not be easy, however. It will take me a couple of months to realize my Bohemian aspirations. So in the meantime, I will need to take the blue pill first and walk amongst the apathetic wage slaves. Gotta “pretend” that everything’s normal. But again, it will only be for a few months. Afterwards, the red pill!

There is no more turning back.

In the meantime, back to regular programming. =)

The Pacquiáo-Mayweather boxing tiff might end up becoming a hilarious tag team match!

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Pacman vs Mayweather

Manny Pacquiáo and Floyd Mayweather have finally agreed to slug it out next year, tentatively on 13 March 2010 (March 14, Philippine time).

But what’s this I hear? Pacquiáo’s trainer Freddie Roach is already making physical threats to Mayweather’s coach (and uncle) Roger Mayweather!

Roach ready to go to a street brawl with Floyd’s trash talking trainer

SUPERSTAR trainer Freddie Roach has made it known that he’s ready to engage Roger Mayweather, trainer of Floyd Mayweather Jr, in a fight should Roger start trash-talking against Manny Pacquiáo and get out of the line.

Roach, in an interview with The Telegraph, was reacting to Roger Mayweather’s statement that his nephew will deliver a boxing lesson on Pacquiao.

“Floyd Sr is no harm. He has his poems and he talks a bit of trash, but he’s not mean. Roger and I don’t get along. He’s a piece of ****. He talks trash about my trainer Eddie Futch. He puts people down who can’t actually defend themselves because they have passed away.”

The Freddie Roach-Roger Mayweather drama is expected to be one of the major factors when the hype machine for the March 13 bout involving their two superstar fighters go into full blast.

“He says ‘Eddie Futch wasn’t ****’, stuff like that. He says he would have knocked me out. If he gets out of line, I will fight him. In the street. He’s disrespectful and I’m getting to the point where I can’t take it no more. If he talks like that one more time and I’m in front of him, he’s going to have a fight on his hands. It will be exciting because I’m not going to take this **** from him. He doesn’t have that good a chin – we know that. He can punch though. We’ll see,” Roach added. Inquirer Sports

If this boxing drama ever reaches wrestling tycoon Vince McMahon’s ears, he’s surely going to use it to his advantage. Well, his World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE) needs it really bad! WWE’s wrestling programs’ ratings are sliding down horribly ever since the demise of the controversial Attitude Era (and the retirement of his two wrestling superstars from that era, Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock). And that’s why these past few months, McMahon has been inviting celebrity guest hosts for Raw, WWE’s flagship program, to stop the bleeding ratings.

Recently, both Mayweather, Jr. and Ricky Hatton (another Pacquiáo victim) became guest hosts for WWE Raw (on separate episodes). Why not invite our Filipino hero, too, for a change? Wasn’t he a darling when he guested in Jimmy Kimmel Live! early this year?

Between Pacquiáo and Mayweather, the latter has extensive “wrestling” experience. In WWE No Way Out (17 February 2008), “Pretty Boy” saved Rey Mysterio from a beating done by a returning Big Show. The ensuing save left Big Show with a broken nose courtesy of Mayweather’s lightning-speed punches. That incident culminated in a No Disqualification match between Pretty Boy Floyd and The World’s Largest Athlete in Wrestlemania XXIV (30 March 2008). The match was awful and hilarious. The crowd hated Pretty Boy for his underhanded tactics (and bravado) in defeating the more than seven-feet brawler (but what non-wrestler wouldn’t do that against The Big Show anyway)? He became an instant heel (villain in wrestling parlance) while the wrestling fans supported Big Show (who was supposed to be the bad guy). Mayweather won after a knockout (with the help of brass knuckles), but he was carried out of the ring by his entourage amidst deafening boos and catcalls.

A few months ago (24 August 2009), Mayweather and The Big Show met again, this time on a WWE Raw episode which Mayweather hosted. And this time, the fans were on his side since The Big Show, together with the coholder of his Unified WWE Tag Team Championship title, Chris Jericho, were on a villainous rampage. However, The Big Show wasn’t able to exact his revenge on Mayweather. Pretty Boy once again cheated on a match which pitted the tag team champions against Montel Vontavious Porter and Mark Henry (by tossing brass knuckles to MVP for the latter’s use). Ironically, the crowd loved him for that. He even had a segment with WWE’s top honcho himself, Vince McMahon, during that episode.

And just last month, 9 November 2009, British boxing sensation Ricky Hatton (who lasted only two vicious rounds against Pacman in The Battle of the East and West boxing pay-per-view last 2 May 2009), served as the next boxing celebrity host for WWE Raw. The episode was held in his country, the United Kingdom. Hatton even had a very entertaining “Boxer vs Wrestler” match against Chavo Guerrero which he won by using a devastating right hook — something which he failed to utilize against our very own Pacman.

So let Roach and Uncle Mayweather settle the score, not outside the streets (that’s too uncivilized and uneducated), but in a wrestling match. Or even a tag team wrestling match (Roach and Pacman vs the Mayweathers). The wrestling ring has already been tainted with boxers and various celebrities in the past. The Pacman vs Pretty Boy is expected to become the greatest boxing match of all time. Thus, the marketers must as well use WWE for promotions. Both parties, for sure, would benefit from it.

Now that’s going to be one incredible hype machine.

Am I serious about this suggestion? Being a wrestling and boxing fan, I’d like to think that I am. By the way, I’m suffering from a very high fever (with cough and flu and a severe headache) since yesterday.

World Wrestling Entertainment could become an avenue for promoting Pacman's match vs the loudmouth Mayweather.

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