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Pinoy Big Brother: Presidential Edition (FILIPINO eSCRIBBLES’ 6th anniversary special)

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It was reported a few days ago that the budget for the refurbishment of the more than 80,000 precinct count optical scan (PCOS) machines that will be used for next year’s presidential elections has been raised from ₱2.07 billion to an astonishing ₱3.13 billion. Wow. Imagine that. It’s just for refurbishment. But Commission on Elections (COMELEC) chief Christian Robert Lim even boasted that this move is the most cost effective option by the said constitutional commission for next year’s automated election system.

Will that humongous amount even be worth it? Of course it remains to be seen. However, we here at FILIPINO eSCRIBBLES do not concur with this cost effectiveness. Besides, those billions of pesos could have been used for more poverty alleviating projects. Other than that, it was reported recently that COMELEC is planning to hold voting in malls during next year’s elections for the sake of convenience. Nice.

The way we see it, the most cost effective and convenient option we see fit is to have all our presidentiables live inside “Bahay ni Kuya“.

Yes. we’re talking about ABS-CBN’s hugely popular Pinoy Big Brother (PBB).

For the past decade, this reality show has had several iterations: Celebrity Edition, Teen Edition, Unlimited, etc. We thought of coming up with something different, something that is more noble, and certainly something that is not only cost effective but transparent and convenient to all voters. So why not COMELEC, ABS-CBN, and other related government agencies team up together to form Pinoy Big Brother: Presidential Edition? Instead of having these noble and dignified presidentiables launch costly and “security nightmare” campaigns, have them stay inside the PBB house during the campaign period, preferably for a period of two to three months. The whole country (and the rest of the world) will be able to see these “presidential housemates” together under one roof, seeing their true colors while performing weekly tasks related to the coveted presidential throne. We’ll see them interact with one another on a 24/7 basis through live streaming, witness them dance the nae nae upon waking up every morning, that sort of thing. The last man (or woman) standing, or that person who would survive succeeding evictions, will be declared as the President of the Republic of the Philippines. Viewers, of course, will be asked to vote via SMS, voice messaging, Facebook likes, or even tweets, for whoever they wanted to stay longer in the house. Presidential housemates can also vote for those they would like to evict on occasions to be decided by Kuya, whoever that pr!ck is (it’s probably Eugenio López III himself using a voice changing device for all we know).

So far, those who have already confirmed their candidacy, including those who are still playing coy f0r the position, are as follows:

Alan Peter Cayetano
Míriam Defensor-Santiago
Rodrigo Duterte
Chiz Escudero
Jinggoy Estrada
Pánfilo Lacson
Bongbong Marcos
Grace Poe
Mar Roxas

POSSIBLE SCENARIO (déjà vu alert!)

On day one, Bínay will be immediately evicted by both viewers and presidential housemates for obvious reasons — nobody likes him. Not even Kuya himself. It will be a record first in PBB for being the earliest eviction ever.

Before the second eviction takes place, Defensor-Santiago will certainly walk out (nothing new, really), but not without blurting out her disapproval:

“This electoral contest is a travesty of the highest order!” we could almost hear her complain. “It is a grave insult not only to my intellect but to the intellect of the general viewing public who deserves better! Thus, I would like to invoke my right to gracefully exit this discombobulating patchwork of pastel-colored cardboards that you call a house!”

All the housemates will also gang up on Duterte by evicting him after the latter played with a knife and pointed it directly at Bongbong due to some light argumentation about human rights abuses.

In one episode, Lacson will reveal to newfound BFF Poe what televiewers have been suspecting all these years:

LACSON (sobbing): “I’m gay. Sinasabi ko sa ‘yo ngayon, sinasabi sa ibang tao na hindi ako masamang tao.”
POE: “Grabe… nire-respect kita…”

Kuya will forcefully have to pull out Escudero from the list of presidential housemates because ABS-CBN’s hugely popular reality television singing competition will lose Bamboo due to a high-profile murder. It turned out that the evicted Mayor Duterte, inspired by his singing stint in a recent Gandang Gabi Vice episode, tried his luck in The Voice of the Philippines. But no one among the judges turned their chairs. Worse, he received an honest to goodness criticism from Bamboo. The rock artist was found dead the next day. But ABS-CBN wouldn’t want any of this scandalous murder get mainstream attention. Management simply thought of replacing the fallen rocker with a “kalokalike“.

Kuya then introduces a guest candidate: JV Ejército, much to Estrada’s chagrin. In the ensuing days, the half-brothers rivalry heated up to unbearable proportions. They ended up in a nasty brawl, but Estrada’s penguin-like frame was simply no match to his younger half-bro’s Wilson-Fisk-like frame. He ended up in a bloody pulp, resulting in Ejército’s immediate eviction. Estrada then garnered sympathy votes from sympathetic and teary eyed fans.

In the ensuing months, tasks here and there decided the fate of the remaining presidentiables. But the final eviction night will see only two candidates: Roxas and Estrada. But because of the sympathy garnered by Estrada from the butt whoopin’ he received from his half-bro, Planet Pinoy will opt for hin instead of “Mr. Palengke”.

And so we have a winner!

Unfortunately, President Jinggoy Estrada will remain on house arrest because of his ongoing pork barrel case. He will thus hold office at the PBB house until 2022.

So may the MTRCB have mercy upon the weary Pinoy televiewers by leaving Pinoy Big Brother (PBB) alone! Don’t they realize that this hugely popular reality TV program is the people’s nightly lotus? For all intents and purposes, PBB provides our weary Pinoy lotus-eaters a peaceful apathy that they deserve after a day’s toil which in turn produces the same income tax that feeds the very same government agency that harasses them.

Pinoy ako, pinoy tayo! (pwe!)

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For Dacer’s Family, Erap Is It

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ERAP-DACER-LACSON

Ping Lacson won vs Erap in local politics’ latest mudslinging.

Lacson’s privilege speech last Monday help made murdered publicist Bubby Dacer’s family to consider the wily senator as a possible state witness against the one who masterminded the grisly crime.

“We are not persecuting anyone. We are after the mastermind behind the crime. We are open to everything that will lead to the bringing to justice of the killers of Dacer,” said Atty. Demetrio Custodio, lawyer of Bubby’s daughters.

But of course, it is obvious that Erap is all in their minds. The poor opposition leader has been prejudged once again.

And Lacson is all smiles together with Arroyo, toasting their premature victory wineglasses in the air.

Lacson’s Delayed Truth

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Senator Lacson should answer this:

Why did it take almost a decade for him to tell “the truth” about Joseph Estrada’s alleged corruption during the latter’s short-lived and ill-fated term?

Senator Panfilo Lacson on Monday exposed former President Joseph Estrada’s extensive involvement in the illegal numbers game “jueteng,” rice smuggling, and “other misdeeds” during his short-lived administration from 1998 to early 2001.

In a privilege speech, Lacson also hinted Estrada may have a hand in the 2000 murders of publicist Salvador “Bubby” Dacer and his driver, Emmanuel Corbito.

Lacson said Estrada used to issue orders directly to his police officers way back when Lacson was still the chief of the Philippine National Police.

The top police official during Estrada’s time did not say it outright but his take on Estrada’s relationship with the PNP seems to buttress the claim of state witness and former police official Cezar Mancao II that Estrada approved Operation Delta, the alleged plan to liquidate Dacer.

“(I) have personal knowledge on this, during his presidency, he was giving direct orders and instructions deep into the layers of the entire government bureaucracy, the PNP, and Presidential Anti Organized Crime Task Force,” Lacson told fellow senators.

So there. He has personal knowledge of Erap’s “misdeeds”. And he had to wait for a falling out between him and Erap to make him talk (oh boy, another José de Venecia in the making).

Justice delayed is justice denied. And so it is with the truth, Senator Lacson. You should know that. You’re older than your kids.

Click here for more Lacson lies, err, I mean testimonies, hehehe…

"I got too busy with my facial ads that's why I had to sideline The Truth for awhile."

The Lacson Suspense

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Will Senator Pánfilo Lacson spill the beans on Monday?

Are those beans any good at all?

What's he really up too?

What's he really up too?

Earlier in the Senate, Lacson said he would reveal the true character of Estrada as a public servant in a privilege speech on Monday.

“Ano ba talaga si Joseph Ejercito Estrada bilang isang government official? Lahat ng catotohanan ang sasabihin co don at itó’y patutunayan co rín (I’ll reveal what kind of government official Joseph Estrada was. I can prove everything that I will say),” Lacson told reporters.

Lacson was the chief of the Philippine National Police (PNP) during the short-lived Estrada presidency. Both were implicated in the killing of publicist Salvador “Bubby” Dacer and Emmanuel Corbito in November 2000.

Estrada was ousted from office in 2001 amid allegations of corruption. Both him and Lacson have repeatedly denied involvement in the Dacer-Corbito case.

Many questions arose…

Has Lacson finally sided with the hated Arroyo government due to pressure from the Dacer-Corbito allegations?

Is this some sort of payback? Remember that Lacson was in a way slighted when Estrada chose legendary icon Fernando Poe, Jr. instead of him to be the opposition’s main man in the controversial 2004 Philippine National Elections.

Many people are still wondering why Lacson suddenly dropped his presidential bid for the 2010 Philippine National Elections. And now he leaves political analysts in suspense due to that “Monday bombshell”. The timing is so suspect… could it be true that he’s the one who’s sleeping with the enemy and not Estrada?

Estrada dared Lacson to drop the bomb. Why does the deposed leader sound a bit unfriendly? For all we know, maybe Lacson doesn’t have any plans of betraying Estrada. Doesn’t Erap trust Lacson anymore? If so, why?

If ever Lacson’s suspense-filled privilege speech this coming Monday will reveal more facts about Estrada’s true character (i.e., bad ones), why didn’t he say it earlier?

Both Estrada and Lacson are under fire due to Cézar Mancáo’s testimonies regarding the Dacer-Corbito Double Murder Case. Pulling each other down will not do both of them any good. For sure, Arroyo is laughing her head off in some cozy Malacañang bedroom that should’ve never been hers in the first place.

The opposition, if it really seeks national unity, should first unite themselves and put both Erap and Lacson (and Noynoy Aquino III) on an emergency meeting. They should also discuss if this issue is all about the opposition, the administration, or the nation.

Who are these people putting in peril? The economically starved populace, of course. Juan de la Cruz is always at the receiving end of useless political clouts and bickerings. Does he deserve this?

Since he doesn’t know his national identity, sadly, I think he does…

Breaking (The) News

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Youth urged: register to make a difference — Youthvote Philippines convener Jaime Garchitorena.

We’ve been making a difference for a long time now by not registering.

*******

“…we appeal to everyone, including the accused (President Joseph Estrada and Senator Pánfilo Lacson), to freely submit to the justice system and to due process…” — Press Secretary Cerge Remonde on the Dacer-Corbito Double Murder Case.

But he said everyone… what the heck do I have to do anything about the crime?

Our star for the past week!

Our star for the past week!

*******

Convicted rapist-murderer Juan “Paco” Larrañaga of Cebú’s mighty Osmeña clan to be transferred to a Spanish jail. It’s because his dad’s a Spanish citizen. And this move is in accordance to a prisoner-exchange treaty with dear Mother Spain.

But the said criminal didn’t grow up in Spain. Why bring him to a prison there? Let him talk to me first in Spanish in order to assess if he could mingle with other Spanish-speaking prisoners. If he couldn’t converse in Castilian, he’d only become more of an anti-social prisoner there due to language barriers. And that would make him more wacko.

*******

Asked why Larrañaga can’t just serve his sentence in in our country, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo’s chief legal counsel Raúl González said: “We have a treaty that has been passed. Let’s not talk of something that has taken place already. This is a treaty that has been signed long ago. This was ratified by the Senate.”

The verbose former justice secretary got tired of talking too much.

*******

Secretary Gabriel Claudio divulged that Arroyo was elated over the news that at least 49 governors have endorsed Defense Secretary Gilbert Teodoro to run as president.

Who is he?

*******

Actress Rufa Mae Quinto denies that she has an affair with Gloria’s son Mikey Macapagal Arroyo.

It’s believable. Rufa Mae doesn’t spend her time in California.

*******

Aside from telling Erap and Lacson to submit themselves to the justice system, Remonde also told the same thing to Arroyo supporter Luis “Chavit” Singson with regard to beating up his common-law-wife last month.

Can he say that to Mikey?

*******

Anti-Catholic leader Eraño Manalo, who died last week, is to be interred tomorrow. At least two million people are expected to attend the cortege.

Expect to see the stars of the 2010 Philippine National Elections.

*******

As of this writing, a rescue team is busily attending to Superferry 9 which was reported listing earlier today in the stormy seas of Zamboanga. More or less 1,000 people are on the ship!

A perfunctory reaction from the reading public: what’s new?

*******

Let’s try to have a happy day this rainy Sunday!

Mancáo Shouldn’t Just Accuse, He Should Also Explain.

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What was the real motive behind the Bubby Dacer-Emmanuel Corbito double murder case?

Murdered twice: first in 2001; second this year via politicking?

Murdered twice: first in 2001; second this year via politicking?

This is what former Senior Superintendent Cézar Mancáo should explain as well. It is not enough to simply accuse Senator Pánfilo Lacson and President Joseph Estrada as the masterminds of the evil deed. The timing is so suspect since the Erap-led opposition is steadily gearing up for next year’s national elections. The electorate can no longer be fooled, being experienced as they are in a country that’s chock-full of election scandals and controversies these past few decades. This “spilling of beans” could be viewed as an obvious attempt to destroy the credibility of Erap and Lacson. Although Lacson has already backed out from next year’s elections, he still has enough support-power to add on to the opposition’s election arsenal.

This is not to say that Lacson and Erap are innocent of the crime. The point of the matter is that this eight-year-old unsolved murder case has a political tinge to it; the people are in danger of being led (or misled) into focusing more on the finger-pointing and the personalities involved rather on the merits of the case.

Mancáo better speak up some more rather than simply naming names. Remember: he was an accomplice to the murder — of course he should know the reason why Dacer and Corbito were kidnapped, strangled to death, and then burned (their bodies were found months later near my father-in-law’s farm in Indang, Cavite). If Mancáo gives out other details –specifically as to why he, ex-cop Glenn Dumláo, ex-intelligence officer Michael Ray Aquino, and a host of other executioners killed the publicist and his driver– that might add weight to his accusations.

But without focusing on such details, it will appear that Dacer and Corbito are being murdered over again through a very suspicious politicking. The case now has a different twist because another “witness”, Jimmy López, was slain two days ago.

Malacañang Palace was quick to condemn the assassination.

Was López a “sacrificial lamb”?

The sickening plot thickens.

Noynoy & Mar vs the Evil Empire: Who Else Will Join The THIRD PARTY?

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Mar Roxas III & Noynoy Aquino III: the 'THIRD' Party!

Mar Roxas III & Noynoy Aquino III: the 'THIRD' Party!

He’s not a trapo after all.

In a shocking development, Senator Mar Roxas III announced that he’s backing out from the presidential race to support fellow Liberal Party member Noynoy Aquino III. The announcement was made yesterday during a conference held at the historic Club Filipino (were Noynoy’s mom Corazón Aquino took her oath as President of the Philippines way back in 1986):

“Today I am announcing my support for the candidacy of Noynoy Aquino for president in 2010,” Roxas told Liberal Party members and supporters.

“Noy has made it clear to me that he wants to carry the torch of leadership,” he said. “I do this (step aside) for unity in support of change and that means that somebody must make a sacrifice. It must be me.”

The two “Thirds” (they both share ‘III’ at the end of their respective last names) are a force to reckon with, perhaps the perfect tandem to possibly halt ousted President Joseph Estrada’s plans of backing out from the most anticipated presidential election in recent history.

Erap has been vocal these past few weeks, saying that the only reason for him not to run for the presidency is when the opposition fields only a single candidate.

As of this writing, Makati Mayor Jejomar Bínay and Senator Manuel Villar, both from the opposition, are yet to make a final statement whether or not they would support Noynoy or still pursue their political ambitions. But Erap said that he’ll still woo other presidentiables from the opposition to unite and fight whoever Gloria Macapagal Arroyo will anoint.

It will be remembered that in the 2004 presidential elections, the massive electorate who sided with the opposition were divided between Pánfilo “Ping” Lacson and legendary icon (Erap’s bestfriend) Fernando Poe, Jr. Both were well-loved and supported by the masses. But since the votes were divided between the two of them, the results proved to be disastrous: Ping ended up second to FPJ’s votes while the latter was blatantly cheated all the way to high heavens.

Noynoy is still hesitant whether or not he should run. But with Mar Roxas’ stirring announcement (quite possibly he’ll run as Noynoy’s Vice President), that could possibly be the nail in the coffin for Noynoy’s decision-making. Besides, Mar has already spent millions of pesos with all those television advertisement of his. It’s not that easy to back out from the presidency especially when millions have already been spent, and Noynoy knows this. Besides, with the recent passing of her “icon of democracy” mom (not to mention the recent Ninoy Aquino holiday last August 21), this is the perfect time for him to ride on the heels of the so-called “Cory Magic”. It’s back, still fresh, still strong, still sporting the bright yellow in the minds of the populace. All he has to do is to keep it burning, to keep the momentum going.

Hopefully this time, the opposition will learn from mistakes of the past. It’s still September — plenty of time to THINK.

Who else will join the Third Party?

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