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Joey de León’s Evil Poem

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The Buwan ng Wika is about to end. Cayá meron acóng pahabol na may quinalaman sa wicang Tagalog.

I’d just like to share to you this horrible piece of –excuse my French– crap which noontime TV host Joey de León wrote supposedly in honor of the late president Corazón “Tita Cory” Aquino, as the title of his poem seemed to suggest. However, it’s just another one of his malicious attacks against his controversial noontime TV rival Willie Revillamé. The controversial host of the popular noontime program Wowowee! is currently on a sabbatical due to some misunderstanding over his wrong choice of words when he requested ABS-CBN’s Traffic department to remove video snippets of Tita Cory’s cortege (from La Salle Green Hills in Mandaluyong City to historic Catedral de Manila in Intramuros) while his show was ongoing. This happened last August 3rd:

Please be cautioned, by the way, that this blogpost is not about the Willie-Tita Cory controversy (the whole country already knows about it, anyway), nor is this in defence to Revillamé’s reasoning. This is actually about de León’s hypocrisy, not to mention his lack of literary merit. His poem below (originally published in The Philippine Star on August 9th) seemed to be at first an elegy to the late icon of democracy. But after going through the first few lines, one will notice that he has vile motives.

The poem is without doubt witty. But wit alone doesn’t make one a poet.

Without further ado, here is de León’s hypocritical poem.

The funeral cortege of former Pres. Cory Aquino: My tears came naturally

Joey de León: jealousy won't get you nowhere.

Joey de León: jealousy won't get you nowhere.

Wala na sa piling ng mga Pilipino,
Tinig ng awiting Mga Kababayan Ko,
At lumisan na rin noong isang Sabado,
Inang nagpalipad sa awiting Bayan Ko.
Ako’y sumasaludo, paalam Pangulo,
May isa ‘kong lihim, kay tagal itinago,
Sa lahat nang inabot kong mga namuno,
Tanging ikaw lang sa luha ko’y nagpatulo.

Marami ang nalungkot sa iyong pagyao,
Magalang ang lahat at puno ng respeto,
Nagpasalamat pa nga Kapamilya sa ‘yo,
Dahil kanilang himpilan naibalik mo.

Subalit ano itong nabalitaan ko?
Nangyari noong Lunes, a-tres ng Agosto,
Habang inililipat ang mga labi mo,
Ika’y parang nabastos sa isang TV show.

At ang napakasaklap at masakit dito,
Ang nambastos pa’y kapamilya ng anak mo,
Napanood ito ng tao at publiko,
Kakaunti na nga, ngunit lahat nahilo.
Sabi ng TV host na mainit ang ulo
Pagkakita sa video na kanyang kasalo,
“Sandali, meron akong ano… sa’ting ano…
Hindi naman sa ano,” nagkaanu-ano!
Ayon sa Internet, meron pa s’yang nasambit,
“Sana pakitanggal muna ‘yan sa’ting traffic…”
At ‘di maaalis sa iyong pag-iisip,
Ang parada ng patay ang pinaliligpit!
At dagdag pa daw ng naghahari-harian,
“I don’t think na dapat n’yong ipakita iyan…”
Nasaan naman ang paggalang, o nasaan?
Mga sinasabi natin minsa’y pag-ingatan.

At ‘di pa nangimi nang sumunod na araw,
Pinilit pa ring ginawa n’ya ay tama raw,
Mga nakarinig ‘di na nakagalaw
At ayon sa iba sila na la’y napa-wow!

“… Pero ako, totoo ‘ko eh … “, sabi kuno,
Totoo nga at totoo ring walang modo,
Pwede namang sabihin itong pa-sikreto,
Kaya’t wala na rin mga paliwanag mo.

“Kung ganyan, pakita na lang ‘yan!”, ang hamon pa,
Para bang ang prusisyon nila-”lang – lang” lang ba,
Ang pangasiwaan ay pinapili pa n’ya,
Sumunod ang himpilan, nung August 5 wala s’ya.

May mga komentong pwede nang pang-harapan,
“On camera” baga sa TV ang tawag d’yan
At kung sensitibo man ang gustong bitawan,
Pagpasok ng commercial, hintayin mo na lang.

Matutong magbaba muna ng mikropono
At saka idikta lahat ng iyong gusto,
Lagi kang mataas lahat daw takot sa ‘yo,
Ratings lang ang mababa — totoo ba ito?

The breaking news breaks your heart — at ‘yan ang bawi mo,
Nang mahalata mong sumablay ang pasok mo,
Pero sigurado ika’y maa-abswelto,
‘Di ba ikaw rin ang may-ari ng network n’yo?
Nung Hueves nag-apologize sa diario naman,
O, akala ko ba wala kang kasalanan,
Tapos ng angalan, sunod paliwanagan —
COMPLAIN before you EXPLAIN ka na naman!
O ito kaya ay isa na namang “glitch” lang,
Tulad ng “two-zero” ‘di na natin nalaman,
O ito ay maliwanag na kabobohan?
Sa tingin ng marami, mahirap lusutan.

Ang sabi ng iba — istupidong mayabang,
At giit ng iba — istupidong mayaman,
Mayaman man o mayabang ang tiyak diyan,
Napakayaman n’ya sa kaistupiduhan.

Buti pa ang apat na honor guards ni Cory —
Sina Malab, Laguindan, Rodriguez, Cadiente,
Walong oras tumayo sa ulan at viaje,
Ang lahat ay tiniis at walang sinabi.

Samantalang ikaw na may bubong sa ulo,
Komportable ka lang sa malamig na studio,
Nang kapirasong libing sa TV sumalo,
Angal at inis ang sumambulat sa iyo.

Maaari din namang pabayaan na s’ya,
Subalit ang nangyari’y mabigat talaga,
Namayapang pangulo’y huling paalam na,
‘Di mo pa pinagbigyan … hoy, nag-iisa ka!

At nais ko lang sabihin at ipagyabang
Sa mahigit na s’yam na libong tanghalian,
Sa limang pangulong sa Bulaga’y dumaan,
Kahit isa wala kaming nilapastangan.

As you can see, the poem above is way off the mark. The funeral cortege of former Pres. Cory Aquino: My tears came naturally? That title is deceiving. It has nothing to do with the President’s passing at all.

Joey should also receive the same amount of criticism and online bashing that the beleaguered Wowowee! host is having right now. Using the late President’s name for his unexplainable hatred of Willie is uncalled for and even disrespectful. Hindí lang si Willie ang binábastos niyá dito cundí patí na rin ang dating presidente. Dapat alám na niyá itó lalo na nga’t may edad na siyá para suriin cung anó ang tamà at hindî.

And we thought that Joey has already patched things up with Willie (they had a fall out two years ago). What a shame for a 62-year-old accomplished comedian. Tsk.

To Mr. de León:

I admit that I do watch Revillamé’s Wowowee! from time to time and even prefer it over your three-decade-old Eat Bulaga!. But don’t worry, Mr. de León. Although I prefer his show over yours, we both have something in common: we both don’t like Willie; I for his arrogance and his occasional unsavory behavior, and you for I-do-not-know-what (¿waláng gamót sa inguít?). What you wrote is not an elegy; it’s a perfect display of your hypocrisy.

But I can proudly say to myself and to anyone else that, although I am not a perfect person too, I do not have the letters H-Y-P-O-C-R-I-T-E within the fibers of my being.

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