When my mom was my age (30), I was already thirteen years old. Now that I’m thirty, my daughter’s nine. Me and my mom, we got married at an early age. And even my grandparents on both sides, they got married too soon.
Filipinos are so horny. Haha.
I just pray that this cycle ends with my daughter (that’s my birthday wish for her), including my three sons. Life can be so difficult when you get married at an early age.
In my case, I got married when I was twenty; my wife –my girlfriend at that time– was twenty-three. Both of us weren’t finished with our schooling yet. I was supposed to graduate at that time, but I failed some units due to extra-curricular activities (student activism, rock bands, and other useless things). On the other hand, my wife shifted courses and was a working student.
But we weren’t spending our time wisely.
And like what usually happens to careless young Filipinos today, she got pregnant. And since we were both undergraduates, the baby was technically an unwanted baby. It broke the hearts of both our parents, and ours were filled with fear due to our future’s uncertainty. We weren’t exactly from the moneyed class. And I was pretty sure that my dad wouldn’t allow another mouth to feed. We’re four in the family, and life was almost hard for us. And the sad part of it all was, since I was the eldest, a lot was expected from me.
That unwanted pregnancy broke a lot of expectations. And it surprised me to no end. Even up to now. You see, I’ve never ever dreamed of raising my own family. During my youth (ain’t that such a scary phrase?), I immaturedly dreamt of becoming a rockstar-writer celebrity (do laugh, please — nobody will stop you, haha!). I didn’t even plan well for it. But who am I to blame myself (I kinda like that statement)?
During those days, I was an agnostic. The ideals and writings of my Marxist colleagues and our college paper whose staff were mostly godless geniuses were beginning to rub off on me. And one time, at the height of my wife’s “unwanted pregnancy controversy”, my dad left to work overseas without having talked to me. Nor did he forgive me for it. On the night I learned that he was leaving, I rushed to the airport to meet up with him and asked for forgiveness. I prayed frantically to God to allow me to talk to him. I rode a taxi despite my financial troubles back then. But when I reached the airport, his plane had just left. And that was when I believed that I was talking to a God who didn’t even exist; I remained godless for the next two years or so until my wife’s second pregnancy (but that’s another story).
Anyway, what I’m trying to point out is that, although I’ve never planned of having my own family, I am now perhaps the happiest person in the world. I have a very beautiful and caring wife who is always in love with me every single day. And I adore my four beautiful children so much. True, one’s children are the most fascinating people you’ll ever come across with.
Aside from my wife, it was our daughter Krystal who started transforming me into a dad. I may still think like a college brat, but Krystal unwittingly moulded me to become a responsible father. I may not be a perfect father, but Krystal literally and emotionally made me become a good and loving father. And for that I am so grateful.
Looking back, I am quite certain that God had had a hand in bringing me to where I am right now. Everything seemed divinely intertwined. There was a divine purpose. Imagine Pepe Alas, a person who never even thought of having his own family. But now, man — I’d die for them. And since then, I’ve always been an advocate for a happy, Christian family.
My daughter Krystal is not yet an avid reader. So naturally, she will not read this blogpost yet. But hopefully one day, when all of us still exist despite this bullcr@p called global warming, she’ll be able to find this blog and get to comprehend what this blogpost is all about.
For now, this is the only sentence that I’ll make her read: ¡Feliz noveno cumpleaños mi hija preciosa! ¡Te amo mucho!